The change

village church 

       
              I was happy to be back to Umuofia after seven years of exile, but sadly everything had changed now as the missionaries had settle down Umuofia and bring a great changes.
              After the seven years of exile, I finally step my foot back to Umuofia. I was happy to be back in my own village but unfortunately my village had changed a lot and so do most of the villagers. The missionaries had bring and introduced their law to Umuofia, they have built a prison and court where people were put on trial for breaking the law. There were also many men that converted into christianity. I was not happy with all these changes that happened in Umuofia and I wondered why the Umuofians had not launch a war against the missionaries. I tried my best to reignite the fighting spirit of my people to fight the white men and chase them out from our village. Finally they agreed to do something when Eunoch had purposely unmask an egwugwu, and in retaliation the egwugwu destroyed Eunoch's compound and burnt the church. After the event, I with the rest of the people involved in burning the church were being arrested and held in prison and only after the villagers had paid the fine that the white men agreed to let us go.
              I realized that changes had happened in our village and I was unable to stop it, even though my own people had change their own faith.

Nwoye's attitude

                 I strongly believe that every father in this whole wide world want their son make them proud or at least doesn't let them down. But, I can say that I am a bit disappointed with my son, Nwoye.
                As a father, I love him and I can't deny that fact. Even though I love him, but still I can't help myself from feeling that Nwoye's attitude is more alike my father, Unoka which I fear the most to be inherited to my children. I can see that Nwoye's attitude is a bit different with any other boy's attitude in Umuofia, he dislikes violence which is not a normal things to men in our villages. Even at the age of twelve, he still likes to hear the stories that was told from his mother's mouth, the kind of stories that was meant for women, and he only started to comes to my hut and listened to my war time experiences since Ikemefuna comes. Though I try not to think about it, I can't help but notice how similar he is with my father, in which I try to changed it with constant nagging and beating.
                 He was my son no matter what and he will need to start acting like a man whether he like it or not.

She should have been a boy

                             I have a daughter that my wife, Ekwefi and I named Ezinma. She is a very good girl and I love her as a father should love his daughter. My second wife Ekwefi faced many difficulties in having babies. She miscarriage our babies for nine times. I can feel that she was very sad and frustrated but God is very kind. He finally gave us Ezinma.
                       Even though she is a very obedient daughter, but sometimes deep inside my heart I still wish that she was a boy. I keep on imagining I am having her as a son instead of a daughter and that would be the greatest gift God could give me. But I know that it is just my imagination which will never happen. I can feel that she is very comfortable with me as whenever there are occasions such as wresting match held at our village, she would ask whether I am going or not and she even volunteered to bring along my chair for me. I will tell her that she doesn't need to bring it for me as it is a job for a boy. She also enjoys herself watching the wrestling match like a boy could do. She is very close to her mother and she looks just like her beautiful mother who was once the village beauty. Sometimes, Ezinma would also behave like a boy as she sits like a boy. I have to remind her over and over again that she should sit the way a woman should sit. She also talks when she was eating. There was one time where she talks and Obiageli, my daughter whom I got with my first wife said that ones should not talk when they are eating. Obiageli is younger than Ezinma but she has more sense than Ezinma.
                           I thank God for bringing Ezinma to my life and made me realise that everything that we think is right not all the time is right for us. I will always love Ezinma as my daughter but still, she should have been a boy.

Exile

              My life has not been the same as it is ever since Ikemefuna's death, even my chi seems to grow weaker as bad thing started to happened to me.

              It started during the Ezeudu's funeral ceremony where I accidentally killed his sixteen years old son. Although it was an accident, I will still have to face the punishment, which was to be exile for seven years in other to avoid any bad misfortunes from happening to my village. The night after the unfortunate event occur, I have bring my family along with few of ours belongings and settle down in Mbanta, my mother's village. My family and I are welcome warmly by my maternal uncle, Uchendu in which he had given me a plot of land for farming and to build obi for my family during my stayed there. Despite my mother's kinsmen kindness, I was depressed and blame my chi for preventing me from achieving lasting greatness. During my exile years, I was not really entirely shut off from my village, Umuofia as my best friend, Obierika tend to visit me occasionally and told me about the news that he heard from other villagers, and also the missionaries effort in spreading their religion in the Umuofia and also the surrounding of Igbo village. I didn't believe what the missionaries said about their god, but what made me really angry and disapointed is Nwoye decision to joined the missionaries. I was so overhelmed by my anger that I disowned him as my son.

               The seven years exiled was a waste of time for me to achieve even greater titles and achievement, but I had spent the time on thinking what will I do to earn back my past achievement once I get back to Umuofia.

Ikemefuna

               Ikemefuna was a boy that I brought from the Mbaino village as a compensation for killing one of the Umuofia villagers. Since the villagers can't decide what they want to do with him, I was told to take care of him until they could decide about his place in the Umuofia.

                I still remember how scared he was when he first come to Umuofia and end up staying with me and my family. At first, he always thought about going home and there was one time where he refused to eat, which made me angry as I was always thought that a men's regardless age should not be such a wimp. So, I beat him hard and then watch him finish his foods. Few weeks later, Ikemefuna seems like he had already adapt his life in Umuofia and became such a lively boy and also a great influence towards my son, Nwoye. Personally, I like Ikemefuna very much as he was a son that I always wanted Nwoye to be and ever since he came to live with us, he and Nwoye had became so close that it almost impossible to see them to be separated. I also noticed some positive change in Nwoye's attitude. He had changed to be more hardworking and it seem that he had became more manly. But everything good will never last forever. One day, one of my villagers told me that they are going to kill Ikemefuna as it is what the priestess had asked for, and they have warned me to not involved in it as he called me father. During that time, I was in a dilemma as I had like, fond and thought him as my own son and now I had to kill him. That night despite the warning, I still involved myself in his murder, it is not because I don't love him or what but because I can't bear to let anyone think that I'm weak. I am afraid to be called and thought as a weak person more than anything else that happens in this world.

               I'm still alive and life must go on no matter what, and maybe now I can suppress all the guilty that I felt but someday I wish that I can ask him to forgive me for everything that I had done.

             

A child's feeling

              Now I am a strong warrior and a powerful man that was known through out the nine villages of Igbo. But even after all my success, I was still my father's son, and no matter how successful I become, I can't runaway from keeping the feeling that I have my father, Unoka. Since I am still a child up until I'm a grown man, I never liked my father not even once.

              All of it started when I was still a little boy. I was playing with other kids when one of them called my father an agbala, a title used only for a woman. That is the time when I learnt that agbala was not only used for a woman but also to a man who has no title at all. I was so ashamed to hear that all the kids make fun of my father's weaknesses and failure. The humiliation that I felt not only made me feel ashamed of my father but also it made me hate him. Ever since that day, I had started working harder to change my life, to be recognized among my people, to succeed in every of my father's failure, and to hate everything that my father, Unoka liked. I had grown up to be a warrior and used to violence and war, because I fear that people will laugh at me if I show any fear towards violence and war just like my father, who can't even stand to see the sight of a dead man. I had grown up with a very bad temper and tend to get angry whenever things were not going the way that I like. I also has suppressed all my emotions from others particularly my fondness towards Ikemefuna, because for me any other emotions that I show other that violence will make me look weak in front of others. It is also because my father was a man with a soft heart. I was also grown up to be a hardworking man and forced my family members regardless age to work hard with me too. I know this must be tough for them, but I can't bear to see any type of laziness occur in my house especially when I saw my eldest son, Nwoye started to show his laziness which really resembles my father.

          I can't deny my feelings towards my father, all the shame and hate that I felt towards him had motivated me to achieve all the achievements that I had now nor can I deny  how fear I am to be like him, and to hold any resemblances to him.

             
           

The Sacred Weeks

          It was a ritual in Umuofia that weeks before planting season is The Peace of Week, doing violences are allowed. Unfortunately, I had accidentally violated the sacred week by beating Ojiugo, my third wife.

          On that unfortunate day, I was waiting for my third wife, Ojiugo to bring my lunch as I feel it weird that she hasn't bring it to me yet. I have no idea that she was not around and asked my first wife, Nwoye's mother about it. I felt very angry when she told me that Ojiugo had gone to plaits her hair and have not returned yet. In a cold voice and trying hard to control my anger, I asked whether Ojiugo had fed her children or not, in which she replied that Ojiugo had sent her children to her hut and now they are eating their lunch with her children. I know that she was lying, trying to minimize Ojiugo's mistakes and that make me felt more angry and may explode anytime. I waited for her to come back to my hut and as soon as she came back, I beated her severely until I heard my two wives came out from their hut and pleaded me to stop as it is The Week of Peace, but I am not the type of person that will beat people halfway and continue to beat her until the priest,  Ogbuefi Ezeudu came to my house and asked me to stop. I tried my best to explain about Ojiugo's unacceptable behaviour but he just ignored me and demanded me to sacrifice a nanny goat and a hen and pay the fine of one length of cloth and one hundred cowries as a punishment for breaking The Peace of Ani. I did everything that he asked for as I truly repent my mistakes for breaking The Peace of Ani.

           I felt guilty for breaking The Week of Peace and also felt ashamed with my neighbours since it has been years ago since anyone breaks The Week of Peace.       

FLASHBACK

         My name is Okonkwo. I am the strongest wrestler in the nine villages of Igbo community, I was known not only because of my strength but also because of all the personal achievement that I had gained through the years that had earned me wealthy, fame and titles and power. 

          But my life wasn't always like this, before I had succeeded in life, I had spent my entire childhood live in humiliation of hearing other kids called my father an "agbala" (a title use for women) for he had no titles in the society, and no wealth that he can give to his children. In other words, he had nothing that he can inherited to me. The process to build my own place in the Igbo community are slow and pain as with a father like Unoka, I did not have a start like many young men did as I does not inherited any barn or a title from my father, and not even a young wife. I started to build my barn by sharing crops with other people like Nwakibie one of the wealthy man in my village. Sharing-crops by all mean is the slow way for a man to building up his own barn as one would only get a third of the harvest after all the hard worked been done. But in my cases I had no other choice and to add it up, I still need to support my mother and sister with my meagre harvest. I was a fierce fighter, but the year I received eight hundred seed-yams from Nwakibie was the worst year ever. That year, I was faced with drought that destroy most of my harvest, and later the rainy season that give out bad harvest.

           Whenever I remember that year, I always said to myself that "since I survived that year, I shall survive anything".